Say you are an older retired senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself in your retirement plan and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what do you do? No retirement plan needed, no retirement calculator needed, just opt for Medicare Part G.
Yup, your retirement plan is kaput so you opt for Medicare Part G. First you have to plant your tongue firmly in your cheek and follow the plan:
This retirement plan plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part G) and one bullet. You are then receive a permit to shoot one worthless politician. If you can’t find a worthless politician, (because you are blind and totally incapacitated), just ask a friend to bring you to a political fundraiser. For sure there will be more than one there. He will be the one kissing the baby while putting his hand in the mothers pocket.
Once you shoot the politician the retirement plan kicks into effect, although very slowly.
On this retirement plan, you will be sent to a home (some call it a prison) for the rest of your life. Don’t worry, you will you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need.
Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That’s great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can’t afford for you to go into a nursing home.
And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. And now, because you are a prisoner, you don’t have to pay any more income taxes! Plus, you will not be allowed to vote in any more worthless politicians.
Is this a great country or what?
Now that you have solved your retirement plan, enjoy the rest of
(Please don’t go looking for Medicare Retirement Plan G – but you may want to share this with your friends that need a chuckle)